thirtysomething...

A few pictures from the Coca-Cola 600 back on Memorial day. Testing out a new photo viewer. If you have problems viewing, just let me know.

Press Play, or you can cycle through the pics manually. Mouse over the image, you'll then see the controls.

Courtesy of (yes, again) LownissanDJ:

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

Satan: "Why so glum?"
Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."
Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"

Satan: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it!"
Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"
Guy: "Wow...that's awesome!"

Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow."
Guy: "Cool!"

Satan: "What about Drugs?"
Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"
Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."
Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

Satan: "You gay?"
Guy: "No..."
Satan: "Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough..."

Courtesy of LownissanDJ:

One evening a man was at home laying on the sofa watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear.

He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date.

After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out.

The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear.

The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing. Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?"

The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers, our son in-law."

Have I got a good way to get rid of that burning lump of fire...

With an SCCA Hard Card. That's right!

An SCCA Hard Card.

What's an SCCA Hard Card you ask? Well, I'll tell ya.

If you are a member of the Sports Car Club of America (and I am) your membership card & license is printed on 2 pieces of heavy(ish) bond paper, that you must add a photo to, sign, and laminate together. This allows you to get into "hot" areas in SCCA events, and proves you are worthy to your fellow drivers. Ok, well maybe not the last part.

IMHO, the laminated card is Old & Busted. Enter the "New Hotness" The SCCA Hard Card.

Head over to SCCA.COM, click Member Services or Members (I don't remember which), log in with your member number, then click Hard Card & follow the onscreen instructions. Give them your Bank of America card number and in a few days you'll receive one of your very own Hard Cards made from new shiny plastic. No more cutting up photos. No more trying to find a laminator...

And hey, you also get a nifty SCCA lanyard to hang your new Hard Card around your neck at your next event! BONUS!!

The Card.

Apparently, you can upload any kind of picture of yourself that seems relevant.

The Lanyard